Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Living On The Edge

Sitting alone on the edge of a battlefield. You're there, waiting. The fighting hasn't begun, but you can feel it. You want to battle to begin so this feeling can flee. Sitting. Waiting. Seeing the fear on the faces of those around you. Sensing what will come to pass in time after you have been through the battle.

But it's a battle that never seems to come. You sit and wait. Every day it feels like it draws closer when it doesn't budge. The angst and the torture of the wait slowly kill you on the inside.


There is nothing you can do.

No where that you can run.

The feeling haunts you deep inside.

It doesn't go away.


The longer the feeling stays, the more you begin to hate yourself. You're so tense for waiting for the battle to begin that you begin to let it out slowly. You don't realise what you are doing until it begins to really affect those around you.

They say that they understand, but you see the pain in their eyes at your actions. You feel even more dragged away from comfort as those who are close to you begin to drift away. You hate yourself for pushing them away, even if they don't realise it is you that causes them to do so.






The only way for your pain to end is for the battle to begin.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ponderings

There comes a time in a person's life where the need to write, the need to express and the need to show comoes to play. Thoughts run through your mind and yet you find yourself stuck with the feeling of no words. Nothing dares to come to your lips or your finger tips.

A song.

Two songs.

Songs hold the key. There is beauty in music because it gives words to those who cannot speak. Or, those like myself at this time, who find themselves at a lack of words.



"Another Heart Calls"
All-American Rejects

"How In The World"
Family Force 5

"Ain't No Reason"
Brett Dennen

"White Houses"
Vanessa Carlton

"Keep Holding On"
Avril Lavigne

"Whiskey Lullaby"
Brad Paisley



Each song a different meaning and yet I feel like all of them. Can it really be true?

Thoughts.
Phrases.

Words.
Emotions.

Everything runs so fast I catch it as a whisper in my ear. I want to grab a hold of them and hold tight. I want to capture the meaning to put it to words.

And yet....


They escape me...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Post-Appocalypse...Are We Due?

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a post-appocalyptic world?


To live by defense.
To only be able to survive by living off the land.
The use of modern technology truly a luxury.
To be forced to work in cooperation with those around you.
To survive.


There is a big difference in surviving and living. However, in todays world, it seems like we don't really live. To live is to take in as many experiences as the world will offer us. It is to live, laugh, love, cry, be frustrated, angered, to try, to achieve, and in the end, to die.

But today, it seems like all that people do is live by possession. People get angry with their parents because they can't go to "THE" party. Rather, they should make the attempt to understand why.

We don't work together as a community anymore. People live in such close quarters with each other and have such easy access to each other that they begin to not care about those around them. Is it possible to work in cooperation with people? To discover who they are as a person and realise how who they are balances out who we are.

Living in a post-appocalyptic world, people would be forced to work together. The family unit would become tighter and more important to an individual. Money and possessions would diminish. If you had to work to be able to survive, there would be little time for the collection of items that serve little purpose other than to entertain.

If you lived in a mini comunity of only thirty people, which would you rather be doing one night: 1) Listening to music on a dying iPod OR 2) Sit around a bon fire, telling stories, creating music, dancing, and laughing.

The older civilisation gets, the more people try to control each other. The less freedom we have. Humans should be allowed to be free to roam to walk to run around the world and enjoy the way that life was created for us. But instead, control becomes more important. Governments control us. Schools control us. Towns, provinces, states, counties, courts, people everything makes an attempt to take some form of control over us.

But why? Why do we have to be controlled in order to obtain some sort of happiness? Is it because we have become out of control? Maybe. I feel like it is technology.

Technology has made it possible for people to be able to live so easily these days. No longer do we have to hunt and forage. No longer do we have to skin and cut up an animal for food. No longer do we have to spend long hot days toiling on a feild to be able to eat that night. It's simply a matter of going down to the store to get food. There's no appreciation left in the simplicity of eating. I find it almost a shame.

To be thankful to simply eat.


There are simplicities all around us:

The birth of a child.
The smile of a friend.
The understanding of a handshake.
The love in a kiss.
The beauty in looking into someone's eyes.
The sweet song of the wind.
The rush of running through the woods.
The energy of swimming in a river.
The warmth of optimism.

Those are all things in my ever growing list that I love. I live for the simplicities in life and wish that at times, technology didn't exist. I'd be able to live freely. Today, people are all about the big things in life. They forget about the way that things are in their basic forms.


Everything is basic.
We just make it more difficult.

If we lived post-appocalyptic, maybe people would be able to understand what really counts. Maybe they'd be able to see the simplicities that we truly live by...